What’s The Truth?

Everything that’s good and bad in the world can be summed up to what people perceive as the truth.

That’s how I feel right now.

I know I’ve been away for so long, but I’ll talk about that some other time. Right now, I have to talk about what truth is and how we perceive it because I might change my mind tomorrow.

Frankly, it’s not so hard to see why many of us are wired to think and act a certain way.

Throw a healthy egg and sperm into a bowl and let nature do its thing. Spice it up with family life, culture, and environment (if you live in Nigeria you know how it goes). Stir until everything mixes nicely together. Ding ding – your average human is ready.

“No matter how close we are to another person, few human relationships are as free from strife, disagreement, and frustration as is the relationship you have with a good dog. Few human beings give of themselves to another as a dog gives of itself. I also suspect that we cherish dogs because their unblemished souls make us wish – consciously or unconsciously – that we were as innocent as they are, and make us yearn for a place where innocence is universal and where the meanness, the betrayals, and the cruelties of this world are unknown.”

Dean koontz, A big little life 

Whenever you meet someone new, that person is a cocktail of all of the above. I have been meeting new people lately and it’s crazy the things I’ve come to realize about humans in general.

We interact with our environment through our senses. What we see, hear, smell, taste and feel, tells us a lot about reality. The brain takes all of this information and processes it for us. This is the reason why I know not to play with fire or I’ll get burned. I was and still am a very curious person, and I learned the hard way about the dangers of fire. This is the science behind truth and what keeps us alive, if not we would keep on doing stupid things that’ll get us killed.

Magicians do a lot of illusions. And movies too. You’ve seen it with your eyes, it might as well be real, right? You’ve heard people say that Germans ate Jewish children. They must have done it, right? No smoke without fire. Every rumour has a grain of truth in it. Blah blah blah…

Remember that there was a time when a lot of people used to believe that the earth is flat. It took overwhelming scientific evidence to disprove such notions, but some people out there still refuse that the earth is spherical (they may be keeping a low profile).

Just like the senses are very powerful, beliefs can be unshakeable.

When I was growing up I used to have nightmares. The kind that made me scream my lungs off. It was especially bad I watched a horror flick or if something triggered my emotions. No matter how many times I was told that I was just dreaming and none of it was real, I wasn’t having any of that. My dreams felt real to me. When I was being chased or attacked or scared witless by a ghost or creature, it was as real as the warmth from my sister’s body as she slept unbothered beside me (some people had it good).

Our perception of the truth can be distorted…but we’ll still choose to die on that hill.

For instance, K-dramas are not for everybody but they are one of the best things to have happened to me. You can close the coffin now – we die here.

Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

A person’s life generally revolves around the same activities, people and places. Anything that is removed from what we are familiar with cannot always be trusted (oil and water don’t mix). The way I see it, the things that divide us are naturally a part of us – skin colour, hair texture, eye colour, language, facial structure and so on. When we come into this world, long before we start to understand the world, we’re divided along racial, ideological, religious, economic and political lines. Already, the circumstances of our birth and the history of the people we identify with mark us in so many ways that we automatically embrace the truth that we are told to believe.

Nobody was born racist. They become racist.

What the law follows is the presumption that a person is innocent until proven guilty. Biases and stereotypes follow guilty until proven innocent.

So even when we feel (emotionally) that something is not true, it’s hard to deviate from the addictiveness of the cocktail recipe I mentioned earlier that sums it up for us.

Let’s do a little test. Which people fit the description below?

Slanted eyes. Kung Fu moves. Obsessed with rice. Eats any kind of animal. Can do maths.

What’s your answ

I visited Badagary with a tour agency, LOS lifestyle, to learn more about the Slave Trade in Badagary. Slavery in Africa started a long time before the transatlantic slave trade. Our ancestors had little or no regard for human lives.

The truth, they say, is bitter. I visited the Brazillian Baraccon where the slaves were housed before they were sold off to the Europeans. At the Heritage Museum, I saw the chains and torture devices they used on the slaves, and the goods they traded them for.

I took the boat to Gberefu Island where the slaves had to pass to get to the European ships. I looked into the Well of Attrition (many believed it made the slaves lose their memory when they drink the water from the well. When I got to the point of no return, I started to see the truth of what these, women and children (slaves) had to endure at the hands of their oppressors – Africans and Europeans alike.

I know that slavery happened. I’ve heard tales about it. I’ve seen the evidence of it. I could smell the desolation in the air as I walked to the point of no return. When the tour guide was done telling us about all the nasty things that went down during that time, I was a mess on the inside.

Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

Winston Churchill

The truth can be whatever we perceive it to be. Who we are, where we come from, and what we do influences how we accept the truth.

For instance, in Nigeria, we spend a lot of our time sabotaging each other because of tribalism and religion and leave little room to consider how we can come together despite our differences to make the country better for all of us.

Wherever we find ourselves, we should always strive to keep our minds open, in order to make allowance for a difference in opinion. It can be hard, I know. But this way we can learn and become better at doing this thing called living.

The Hype About Self Reflection and Why It Is Important

Rigozo

Disclaimer: Self reflection is a good thing and necessary to elevate our lives, it can also be challenging and requires discipline.

I know it’s hard to find out something different from the visual and mental representation that we already have of ourselves. From my experience, once you embark on self-reflection, you either feel like a million bucks or like roadkill. You know how it is with having a crush, you get to know them and eventually you get crushed because they don’t look so iconic to you anymore. Yeah, that’s how getting to know yourself better can feel, however, it’s not always the case.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Socrates

What Is Self Reflection

Self reflection is one of the ways in which we can learn certain things about ourselves that would help us change and improve our lives. When we self reflect, we take off the blinders and this allows us to see ourselves for who we truly are. When we are honest with ourselves, we are able to process our thoughts, learn from past mistakes and successes, and it gives us a fighting chance as we tackle the future. Another thing is that we are able to acknowledge our feelings instead of hiding behind them and this is a great way to progress.

Is Self Reflection Good Or Bad?

Self reflection can go both ways like I said earlier. When done in a constructive manner it brings about positive changes but if haphazardly done and focused only the negative aspects, it could cause a person to spiral down.

The brain is a survival mechanism constantly alert to our needs. Simi Rayat mentioned that if the brain receives signal that we feel threatened or out of our comfort zone, it is possible for our mind to deploy hacks and shortcuts to manage such situations. This will cause the brain to tell us lies that can mess with our decisions, thinking and interpretations.

Note: It is also important to try to understand where other people’s opinion of you are coming from in other to shield against the ones that have no benefits to you.

Why Self Reflect?

#For Growth and Understanding

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First by reflection, which is the noblest; second by imitation, which is the easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

Confucius

Nobody that I know of has cracked the code 100% on how to elevate the way they see themselves, but a lot of positive changes can come through self reflection. This can go a long way to help you get clarity and find your purpose. It also inspires growth and a better understanding of who you are as a person. Always remember it is important that you don’t lose sight of who you are.

#Gets Rid of Insecurities

“Don’t become too preoccupied with what is happening around you, pay more attention to what is going on within you.”

Mary-Francis Winters

Perhaps you are in a low place and struggling with general anxiety, one of the best thing you can do for yourself is to self reflect. To fix a problem, it is important that you have to first know where it’s coming from and tackle it at the source unless it will persist.

#Improves Your Relationships

“Before I ask you to sit with me,

I must be able to sit with myself,

Before I ask you to accept my pain,

I have to accept the pain myself,

Before I ask you to love me,

I have to be madly in love with myself.”

C.Thoth

Many times we are the problem in our relationships and we are not aware of it, because how we see ourselves can be skewed and misinterpreted. We are only able to take the necessary steps towards self improvement when we become aware of our faults and flaws. Self reflection leads to self awareness, which leads to better relationships with our families, friends and colleagues.

#Promotes Self Acceptance

“Time spent in self reflection is never wasted, it is an intimate date with yourself.”

Paul TP Wong

When we are able to process our emotions and thoughts, we feel a greater connection to ourselves. It opens up our mind to several possibilities to explore those ideas that we have and channel them in a positive way. For example there are times I would repeat to myself, “I’m beautiful; I’m important; I’m not pathetic,” and so on. This happens a lot when I have intrusive thoughts that target my self confidence – pretty nasty stuff – and the only way for me is to channel positive energy to tackle them. I’m aware it makes all the difference to my physical and my mental health.

Start Reflecting

Ask yourself questions, especially the hard ones – you know those ones that makes you cringe or causes your chest to tighten . Be sure to reflect on your experiences; introspection is important and can help you track the things that you did, felt and thought at certain moments. You are going through your memories like a movie reel without editing parts of it. Don’t forget to take it easy on yourself, things that are not going right can be fixed with discipline and TLC (Tender, Love and Care).

I’m off to go do some self reflection (mehn things are about to get bloody up in here), wish me all the best.

Photo Credit: Rigozo

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Magical Creatures

Rigozo

Hey people! Yesterday was one of those ‘If I perish, I perish’, moments. That is because I shared my personal story with y’all just to unwind and let go of that part of me that seems frozen in time. I wanted to haul all of the garbage into the sea, and say, ‘Okay! Bye! It was not fun while it lasted, urgh.’ Cataloguing my thoughts, weighing the consequences, and finally putting it all down, was my way of letting go. Do I feel better? A teeny weeny bit. But that’s a lot of bad vibes off my chest. Would I be able to do it again? Well I have learnt not to underestimate myself. I am Magic you ken.

A part of me was aghast, still is – so y’all like sob stories huh! – and another part of me was wowed. You see I took off my layers, got naked, and I didn’t get shorn as being weak or chasing clout. My vulnerability wasn’t shoved back into my face. Forget wowed, I’m humbled. I guess I still don’t completely subscribe to the goodness of humankind – no offense to every human reading this🙏 – one day I’ll eventually get there. If you missed it click here to see me naked (figuratively guys!).

Following quickly on yesterday’s purge, my friend Jesam wrote something lovely and sent it to me. I believe it serves to remind us (me especially) that we are magic. Not necessarily the Hogwarts kind. Truly this magic is not in spells books or potions. Not in the elder wand or invincible cloak or resurrection stone (forgive the excessive use of Harry Potter’s reference but I wish J. K Rowling is my fairy godmother).

Our magic comes from knowing that we are flawed and being reminded daily of our limitations; it is scaling one obstacle only to meet up with another one, over and over again; it is fighting to stay relevant in our relationships and still failing one way or another. It requires acknowledging all of this, accepting the truth of it and still striving hard to prove ourselves capable of overcoming it. It reveals itself when you do not let yourself be defined by where you currently are but by where you see yourself. Alas, if you don’t do the work you’ll stay put like those annoying queues at the ATM😂

You are magic when you simply believe that you are. Shikena!

So click the link and you can find out for yourself why everything I ranted about just might be true😌👇okay, bye!

Five blind men stumbled on an object on their way home. It wasn’t there when they set out at dawn, and they were used to taking that route back as it was the only one they knew. They circled the object and decided to inspect it. The man in front stretched his hand and felt […]

Magical Creatures by Jesam

Like and comment. 💕

Catharsis – A Memoir

Rigozo

Hello Reader,

Welcome!

Waking Dreams – Unmasked, is all about storytelling and photography, which are the two love of my life. I started my blog because I wanted a space where I could call my own, and share what I care about with others – a public-private universe, with me as the lord and general overseer of my virtual turf.

The day I set my blog up was surreal, I really didn’t believe I did it afterward. You can call it a spur of the moment thing, even though it had been on my mind for a very long time.

Let me take you down memory lane…it’s a long story.

About a year ago, due to the pandemic, I was on lockdown with my family. Talk about going crazy. I wanted to literally enter a coma only to wake up when everything was over. I wanted to jump down from the rooftop with the hopes that I’ll finally come into my superpowers, defy gravity, fly up and away.

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com

That was why my first blog post was Chasing Happiness – I averted a breakdown.

Being an introvert, I prioritize my personal space to recharge and stay sane. All of my woes were fashioned into my next post, To Be Perfect. Because I was struggling to find my identity amid all the chaos, and having my personal space reduced to nothing was not helping matters.

The world was changing, I was changing; moreover, it was happening too fast. Maybe some people kept a level head during the whole ordeal, but sadly I wasn’t one of them. I don’t know about you reading this, but I do hope that the year 2020 didn’t unravel you and put you back together like broken ceramics. If that was the case, I pray that you’ll find the strength to blossom, likewise grow to become the best version of yourself.

Fast forward, I wrote A Penny for Your Truth, because my thoughts were as disorganized as ever. I had plans laid out for the year 2020 – photography was one of the things I was going to dive into head, torso, and limbs all together – it felt like a race against time.

Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

Before I could get orientated with this new world – post-pandemic – it was the second quarter of the year 2020. Things weren’t so great, but I learned how to appreciate what it meant to have people around you that genuinely look out for you; like family, a lover, old/new friends, neighbors, and just random strangers.

The world is full of good people, and you see them manifest even when all hope seems lost. We saw it repeatedly on the news, the internet, and for me, it was everywhere when I bothered to look.

Sometimes ‘seek and ye shall find’ is spot on – Hallelujah! There was a lot of strength in that realization. It put me in a good place, and I wrote Addiction, which is all about how much our devices and the internet were taking up a major part of our lives – like, comments, and sharing are what a good number of us are about (please feel free to do all of that for my posts😉). It was to show how we are all connected in time and space. How despite social distancing we could still be together-apart. I can’t overemphasize how lucky I was to have amazing people that helped me and believed in me absolutely.

I started my blog because I wanted a space where I could call my own, and share what I care about with others – a public-private universe, with me as the lord and general overseer of my virtual turf.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t only the pandemic that was rocking the world. Events were happening simultaneously that shed light on topics that were hitherto considered sensitive.

In Nigeria and all over Africa, the issue of Women’s and Girls’ rights came tumbling in like waves. Rape was one of the major issues (unfortunately it still is). Remember that I said that I was not my usual self. I was a far cry from my usual, unaffected by anything (can’t touch this), self-possessed self. I got caught up in a whirlpool of resentment which led to writing Irony: The reality of the Girl Child.

There was a campaign in Nigeria – #JusticeforUwa in May. It was a public outcry for a young girl named Uwa who was a victim of rape and murder. The people wanted the arrest and conviction of her rapists and killers. It was a reminder of a virus deadlier than the Covid 19 called Human Wickedness – I really think that sums up all the madness we see displayed regularly. I was sad, and angry because I believe that if people placed a higher value on human lives, the world would be less hellish. What’s more, Black Lives Matter cut across all our screens and people became aware that indeed we needed to do things differently. The Meeting was one of my first writings years ago. I pulled from my archives, I wasn’t keen on writing something new at that time, so I took a break. I had a major setback when I wrote the first part of Healing (if you’ve read it then you know how dramatic it was).

Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

Fortune smiled on me, because around the same time I started reading Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire) by George R. R. Martin, and light bloomed in the underground cavern that was my existence. There’s nothing that can be compared to a good book.

Not long after, the lockdown was lifted, Hooray! I was able to get on with some of my severely revised plans. I got a spring back in my step. It was really awesome to be alive. This was a fine period that I can always look back on and be grateful for the intermission because something was coming, something consistent with the prevalent theme for the year 2020 – something terrible.

A toast to July 2020 – may we always find relief from all the troubles that beset us.

Honestly, the world was still in shambles with the rising number of infection and death tolls, failing economies, and incompetent governments, and the worst was yet to come for us.

I wished to stop writing, really, but everything was coming out effortlessly. Wow! It was two hours of typing and almost a thousand words. I broke the record people. Apparently, I was getting good at this Type A Lot of business. (I hope you are still with me).

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

Maybe it was a premonition or call it precognition, but before the new crisis unfolded I was itching to travel. It was on my mind all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the stress of shuffling bags or sitting for long hours in a cramped seat – I made it mandatory to always travel lite. I also don’t like the feeling of displacement that I get when I get up and leave a place, especially if it is a place I’ve come to like. Nevertheless, the promise of a change of scenery gets me going all the time. So, I wrote Places because I wanted to hit the road and chase the sun. I remember always bullying my way to the window seat so that I could look out, take the occasional picture, and resist the temptation to stick my head out, and let my tongue hang like a dog.

I was reading A Dance With Dragons, the fifth and last released book of the series, A Song of Ice and Fire. It was mayhem. Overall, it was a spectacular read for me, though I was very late to the party – not unusual. I also had free time and I tried to put it into use. My perspective about life was undergoing a tremendous transformation, it felt as if I was shedding skin (well, all that upbeat vibes I was feeling didn’t last for long). I had gotten started on Healing 2, and I was really looking forward to the end. The flow of my writing was good, much like this one.

Soon it was August, and life continued. There was a certain night, a couple of days into the new month of September, I was walking home and the moon was bright. If you had been there, you’d have thought you could stretch your hand and pluck it from the skies. I didn’t want to get home in a hurry so I took my sweet time, mindful that it wasn’t safe to stay out late all by myself.  When I eventually got into the house, I wrote A Catwalk to Remember, because I wanted to remember another time. Those days in the past when the streets were relatively safe. I had my friends with me and we would walk home under a moonlit sky talking about everything and nothing. (I hope they still remember it too, wherever they are.)


I believe that was the last time I put up a post in 2020. It wasn’t how I planned it. There were still several pieces I was working on but I was overwhelmed by the events that suddenly took place towards the end of the year.

Photo by Alexandro David on Pexels.com

October dawned with a fever to set things right and clear the path for a better tomorrow. Youths in my country had started to open their eyes to the reality of a government that did not have their interests at heart. It was a system bent on curbing creativity and development in every aspect of our lives. Compared to the pace of youth development in other countries, the youths here in Nigeria are forced to live out their lives struggling to make the system work for them at every turn. It’s the established status quo. In fact, many of us have embraced the culture of corruption, lies, and greed that the older generation has fed us, and if we are not careful to come out from it, we’ll do the same for generations to come. Several events led to our agitation for freedom from oppression.

#EndSars #EndPoliceBrutality was a communal cry for help – It was revolutionary in a way. At first, the movement was another thing to be labeled under the usual suspect – youthful exuberance – a nuisance caused by young people bored out of their minds. As if we weren’t within our rights to make demands, as if we weren’t protesting for our lives. Seeing that the government was not only appalled by our behavior, they had the gall to be downright condescending. Some adults supported the cause, while others shamed the youth. Well, we all know how that ended. We’ll never forget the Lekki Massacre and the length to which the government tried to cover it up. We will always remember the lives that were lost.

I don’t know about you reading this, but I do hope that last year didn’t unravel you and put you back together like broken ceramics. If that was the case, I pray that you’ll find the strength to blossom, likewise grow to become the best version of yourself.

Let’s take a breather from all the doom and gloom, shall we?

2020 was magnificent – it would go down in history as a year where the entire world battled for survival – and you and I were a part of it. We came out with a lot of new experiences. The kids and grandkids are going to get a firsthand, if not the slightly exaggerated version from yours truly – I lived through a pandemic, what say you? I’ll be the crazy old lady with her wild stories, always trying to knock some sense into miscreants (a true dog/cat mom). Looking back, I made some careless decisions, almost lost a person that’s very dear to me, missed some remarkable opportunities, and let things spin out of control. I don’t think I am the same person I was before. There is still so much I can do. So much I can achieve. I have my strengths and my weaknesses and know how to appreciate myself and my growth. As an introvert, I’m not so burdened with how much withdrawn I can get (sorry guys that I keep canceling plans). I know that I have to put more effort into my relationships. The year 2022 was crappy but it was also revealing.


Here’s a list of some of the memorable events in 2020:

• WW3 scare – Irani vs the United States of America
• Climate disruption – Australian Bushfires, Locust swarms (Africa), technically a lot of burning.
• Prince Harry and Meghan Markle gave the royal family the boot
• Brexit eventually happened.
• Covid – 19 pandemic – The world virus trimmed the population.
• Netflix revamped entertainment. (Ps who wants to share their password with me?)
• Rumors of Kim Jong Un’s death (Schrödinger’s Kim)
• Global stock markets plummet.

• Alien invasion (I think there’s a UFO sighting every year and 2020 wasn’t left out)
• Everything was made into a cake – my gag reflex was tried to its limit.
• Trump’s impeachment.
• Black Lives Matter.
• End Sars Protests – Lekki Massacre.

Photo by Polina Kovaleva on Pexels.com

Well, 2021 is a new year and I am hoping for progress. Yes! People. So far, so good, my gratitude journal has been looking up. It’s only been a couple of months, trust me I’m not yet in a ‘better place’, but I’m getting there and I wish the same for you too. Thank you for being here. I would like to say that you are the reason why I continue writing and I need this outlet just as much as I need to share my stories with you. This purge was definitely needed, cleansing of mind, body, and soul. I hope to do a lot more freelance writing and reach out to a wider audience.

A big lesson I have learned is, life is unpredictable. Go for whatever it is your heart desires – I started to read as much as I want about things that align with my interests. Love, friendship, and family, should be appreciated. Find your tribe and own it. Always pray, keep your faith strong, and believe in yourself. Take care of your mind, body, and soul – guys I can’t overemphasize this. You may not get it right away, but keep pushing it. Just remember that you are worth it.

Thank you for sticking with me until the end.

Happy belated New Year,

With Love,

Rigozo.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Back to home

My Addiction

Rigozo

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H-arsh tags#

Emojis are how I show my emotions
Stickers prove effective in forming my opinions
Memes; the true source of happiness
Quotes that speak to my soul
Icons I wish to be like

My community

I text you
You text back
I like your post
You like back
We face time

A wonderful relationship

Neck cramps!
I shake it off
Eyes hurt!
I dim brightness

Sleep?
A nuisance
Drop my it?
Never.

Agents of depression come

Low battery
No data
No WIFI
No cell service

My screen is broken

Alas! My life has no meaning

YOLO
I want content
Yes! Give me more
Must know what’s happening

Privacy is a myth

Take my time
Take my money
Please don’t stop
Or I suffer from withdrawal

Do you accept the terms and conditions?

I Agree

Photo credit: Rigozo

A Penny For Your Truth

Rigozo

The truth scares the bejesus out of most people and that is why it is problematic to accept. I’ve learnt it the hard way. You can’t really know everything about a person. It’s not only because they may lie, pretend, hide or omit certain things. It could be that it’s on a need-to-know-basis, like in spy movies; sometimes you just can’t see it. You are looking at them but you’re not seeing them for who they really are. I usually don’t arrive at the heart of things all philosophical like Yoda but yeah, that’s how it is tonight as I go through everything that has happened.

It was the weekend I went with my friends, China and Kay, to see a play that my cousin Tari produced down at the theatre. Everybody loves the man, he’s the local super star. I managed to swipe free tickets from him – promoted him to favorite cousin extraordinaire. The play was going so well and I was chugging down drinks like no man’s business. Until I had to go, real bad. That kind of thing ever happened to you, when the show gets to the interesting part and you’re keen on savoring every bit of it but your bladder gets other ideas? I made funny noises and got out of my seat faster than you could say plantain chips.
As I was about to get down to business in one of the stalls I heard voices coming into the restroom. Ah! There’s no privacy in public. I tried to tune them out by focusing on the scruffs on my boots.

“Hey! Hey! Cut that out and listen” one of the voices piped loudly. The voice was husky, as if the owner smoked a pack a day. You know the fear that grips you when it feels like you’ve unknowingly wandered into a horror movie set? That was how I felt.
“Did you see the crowd out there? I told you Tari’s a good-for-nothing swine but he’s the reason why the company is doing so well. He may act like he’s got his shit together but that idiot deserves to have nails shoved into his eyes” Husky mouths off.

I really am in a horror movie. Tari? My cousin? Someone turned on the tap. I couldn’t hear much of what was said until it was turned off.

“Only thing his worthless ass is good for is wiping the floor” another voice said. The voice was different, squeaky like old bed springs. Squeaky sniffed as she talked “He tried to feel me up the other day while I was sorting out the costumes. Said he could get me to play the lead female. I’ve heard the other girls talking. They say a lot. I turned him down. I guess that’s why he dropped me before opening night” She said it slowly and the words fell heavy and cold.

How many Taris were in the play? I was reeling. I wanted to go out there and tell them to shut up. My Tari? No! Husky and Squeaky kept using colorful words to describe him. It was awful. They left and I wanted to follow but I still had my business to take care of. My momma said to me one time, “The truth is a wild card, when it steps into the building it can get real ugly.” This was after she gave me a major ass whopping for playing in the rain, even though I wasn’t supposed to and it made me sick with the flu for days. Tough love? I’m stubborn. That’s my truth, at least the one I’m aware of, which is why I still hop about in the rain. I refused to believe what I heard about him. Skies! It was really hard to deal with. It still is. You know trust is a fragile thing. If you go stomping on it be prepared to watch it shatter into a billion pieces. Try putting it back together. Good luck! You’ll need it.

Tonight I sprawl on a thin mattress up on the roof and absently swat the mosquitoes that feast on me like I’m jollof rice on a Sunday. My safe space. You can find me up here every other night looking the epitome of relaxed and without a care in the world. When it comes down to it, out here in the open, I’m reminded that I’m part of the phenomenon that is this colossal universe – though a tiny speck I may be – and that is freaking awesome and creepy at the same time. It’s creepy because a whole lot of things out there can influence the outcome of events, and I would be forced to react to this outcome. In fact not reacting is a reaction. And it works the other way around. Do you get what I’m saying? We are all inevitably woven into the fabric of the world, locked in a children’s game of tag. So it turned out that Husky and Squeaky left me with a bag of snakes to deal with and ever since I’ve been stuck on that night searching for answers.

The clouds hide the moon for a bit and I look as the lights that scatter all over town shine intensely. I imagine what most folks will be up to right now and it’s funny what I come up with. Maybe truths and what makes them true is easy. It could be that Tari is nothing like what I heard them say that unfortunate night, he probably puts up an act because of the line of work he is in. Also consider that earth is Midgard and I can prove it if I find Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge.
If I say the the truth can only be explained with things that can be seen but not felt, I should be ready to face the controversies as they twerk forward in their numbers. A lot of folks will want to know where sixth sense and instinct comes to play because there are people out there who have this awareness. I on the other hand did not get any misogynistic bastard vibes from my cousin, and I’ve never seen him be anything but polite and charming.

I’ve known the bloke my whole life. Again there’s only so much you know about the people in your life. I know China to be shy and reserved but that’s because she’s been dealing with her step sister’s nonsense for so long she’s become non confrontational. Tries to fix everything. My girl is the nicest person I know but when she brings down the thunder, you’ll quake in your pants. Kay – Kayode is just crazy. You’ll understand what I’m saying if you spend a few minutes with him. He’s a nerd through and through, with a mouth that gets him in trouble all the time. He also raps. Weird I know. We love to read, it’s our first love. We also cry whenever we watch the Titanic, especially Kay. If you ask me I’ll say I know all there is to know about my friends. They are my ride or die. But lately I’ve let myself get distracted by all the things I don’t know about them. It is not cool.

I’m going to switch to Dumbledor. He said: “The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with caution” He also said, “One cannot have enough socks” so yeah, you should probably listen to him. Life is hard, if not we won’t need each other to get through all the crazy. Life is also good, I know because there is evidence of it all around me. I don’t get a lot of things; like how we say war brings peace or to love is to hurt or quantum physics. I do know that a lot of what we do is basic, not so complicated. In philosophy some have argued that truth is grounded in belief. I believe in God. I believe in karma – what goes around comes around, to bite you in the derrière. They are my truth because I believe.

Clearly, who you say you are and who people say you are defines you. But in the end you decide what you make of yourself. So when I pay more attention to myself, and choose for myself, and believe in the choices that I make, it will transform into my truth. Whatever ‘it’ may be. Others will eventually see this one way or another and come to their own conclusion. This is why I still have to figure Tari out. I love him but I can’t live with not knowing. The first step is to condition my heart and mind to be ready to face the truth, that is what I’m working on; which is the hardest part to deal with. The next step is to find the truth.

What’s your truth?

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