Today, like most days I find myself awake even before the sun is up. The sky is inky black and I look out my window as if anticipating a lover. The hours before sunrise is one of my favorite times of the day. I like to wake up early in the morning so that I can spend time with myself.
I like to imagine that every morning is like a painter painting over an old canvas. I like to tell myself that I’ve gotten another day to love and be loved. I like to think about all the things I would like to do and the process I’ll have to follow to get there. Another chance to give meaning to my existence and going after the things that I want. I like to watch the window like I’m waiting for my lover to jump in and carry me off farfarfaraway.
When I hear someone say that they are not a morning person, I just cannot relate. For me, I just love to be up early, to breathe deeply, and listen to my heart thud in my chest in a quiet rhythm. Also, it makes sense to revisit yesterday with fresh eyes, accepting that the past is in the past – I’m in the present. Those things that hurt me before are all behind me, and I do not have to be shackled by them. Morning comes with its uncertainties yet I would rather run into the future than dwell in the past.
I hope today stays fresh and wonderful to you too.❤️ Have a wonderful day and a happy weekend.
Photo credit: Rigozo
I love city lights. I took this picture in the early hours of the morning after it rained.
Do you want advice Ask the ones who know How to chew their words with kolanut and alligator pepper
Ask them of life They will tell you things For what the elders see from their bottom The child will not from the tree's top
I speak not of the wrinkled and the bony For grey hair, missing teeth and bent frames Are not always keys to wisdom’s stores
Though this may seem true More times than the fetching bucket Returns empty from the watering well
Ask them of life’s lesssons They will tell you slowly Ask them again and again For the child forgets so soon
And our land overflows with mouths Chewing kola and alligator pepper But where did wisdom go Did the children stop asking or The old stopped answering
THE WONDERING | Uzzi Ologe
Uzzi Ologe🏆
Uzzi Ologe is a wannabe lots of things – poet, storyteller, critic, scholar and general writer of stuff… if only he gets around to actually writing (but God will help him). He loves banga soup and eba. When he is not thinking of writing, he is watching movies or daydreaming. He is also the most boring guy on earth.
I have made minor mistakes that have had major consequences. Whenever it happened, I felt overwhelmed by self-pity and self-doubt. However, I’ve come to realize that I need to break out of that cycle. I know now that I’m able to do so by choosing to forgive myself. And to prevent mistakes, I will try to be aware of where I am and what I’m doing at all times. That way I would be more successful and productive.
So, I wrote a poem for the first time in many months and want to share it with you. Yet again I am looking forward to this month, and grateful to have had an awesome start. I pray October stays kind to me and to you.
Okay, enjoy the poem, bye.✌️🏾
Under dark skies City lights sparkle like stars But soon the sun will come To chase away wispy dreams
Of magic and spells Conjurings and potions Of wizards and witches And freshly mown grass
Deep in dungeons Ancient powers stir Waiting to be awakened On the day of the dead
To walk among the living And feel life throbbing Blood hot and red Awakens sinful pleasures
These are the last days of fall For soon winter comes Bringing endless night And warmth will be no more
Fam! Lately, my thoughts are so random, all over the place, and I accuse my mind of deliberately playing ping-pong just to mess with me. I decided to do a bit of self-reflection the other day, you know, ask myself tough questions like, ‘Is it that time of the month? Bank account gathering dust? Did I put on weight or did my jeans shrink? Valid questions. So, I got my answer but I didn’t like it one bit. Lo and behold, I’m suffering from an acute case of nostalgia. Sucks! Now that I have been diagnosed, I just want to find the cure and get well. But now my other self is looking at me and tutting because she says I can only feel better without my memories. I completely agree with her. I think selective amnesia is the way forward, except I can’t just keep the good memories and get rid of the bad. For the time being I’m stuck hauling my nostalgia around like some twisted trophy.
Moving on. Today I have Lara and I’m excited that she’s here as always. I’ve come to understand that people are a lot like mold, they can be found everywhere. However, quite a few of them stick around you and become something more. That’s why Lara of the Wildfire, as she prefers to be called, reminds me of music in all the years that I’ve known her. Sometimes Lara is like a concerto featuring an orchestra of strings, keys, and horns. Other times she’s a solo flute with dark haunting notes. Or a she’s a soft hum you’d have to strain very hard to listen to or else she’d slip away when you least expect, and all that will be left is a terrible ache. She’s like the kind of music that leaves you feeling more than you bargained for. Lara also loves stargazing, writes love letters to the moon, keeps a cat or two as her familiar, and crushes on book characters.😌
Q. Can you introduce yourself and what you do?
A. Heyyyy! My name is Agbaje Olohuntosin Omolara. Most people call me Lara, a few people call me Shukrah, but I really prefer Lara of the Wildfire. It’s quite a mouthful, but it’s such a sexy name! I’m a content manager, so this means I create content for different brands. Blog content, social media content, email content and the works. I’m also training to become a product designer, because tech is where the money’s at, yo!
Agbaje Olohuntosin Omolara
Q. Why do you do your job, and would you rather do something else?
A. I started in the world of content creation because of my natural flair for writing. I studied Chemistry at The University of Ibadan, yeah? But after graduation, I started getting writing gigs and it just went on from there. Currently, I’m hella tired of the content world. I’m a creative writer above all else, but this job is sucking the joy out of writing for me, and I’ll very much like to stop before that happens. And that’s the real reason why I am training to be a product designer.
Q. What is the best thing about what you do?
A. Seeing as I’m tired of the job, this might be difficult to answer. But if I absolutely have to, I’ll say the best thing about it is the fact that I get to do it from home. I honestly can’t imagine a world where I have to leave my house every day for work. Am die, mehn.
Q. What do you appreciate about yourself and what would you like to change?
A. I absolutely love how creative I am, especially with words. I can make a story out of any situation and that keeps me entertained, you know? Reality can be too much a lot of times, these stories I tell myself kind of make things easier. What I would love to change…well. I tend to be very forgetful, geez! I would definitely want to change this.
Q. Do you consider that people are basically bad or basically good?
A. Good or bad? Wow. That’s an overly simplistic way to categorize people that are anything but. I don’t believe one person is just good, or that another is just bad. I strongly believe that good and bad is something that we all carry within us, and what we exhibit is the side we nurture. Besides, we never really know what we’ll do in a situation until we’re actually living in it. Will I do the ‘good’ thing when xxx happens? Honestly, there is no telling. I could be a monster.
Lara with wingsHer familiar
Q. What kind of people do you allow into your circle?
A. Kind people. I love love kind, deliberate people. Also, I have a natural affinity for writers, readers and dreamers. I kind of just meet them and we decide to do life together.
Q. What have you accomplished so far that has made you proud?
A. I recently published my debut book, Letters, Stamps and Seals, and that book is literally a part of my soul set on paper for the whole world to see. I was freaking terrified before it was published, but I’m also damn proud of myself for what I have done with that book.
Lara at her book launch, Letter, Stamps and Seals
Q. What two things do you think of the most each day and why?
A. (Insert laughing emoji) Food and money na. I never know what to eat, and I like food die! So that’s kind of a recurrent thought. I’m always thinking of money as well, because tbh, money can solve A LOT of your problems! To quote Ari, “Whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve em.”
Q. If money was not relevant, what would you do all day?
A. I’ll read! Fantasy, YA, Sci-Fi, Thriller,Poetry, any damn thing that catches my eyes, I’ll read it! I can already picture me lounging all day, reading, drinking tea and eating cake. I’ll also travel a lot and take a lot of landscape pictures. To paraphrase something one of my favorite IG poets said, I have a spinning compass where my heart should be. If money isn’t an issue, I’ll let that compass take me everywhere.
I recently published my debut book, Letters, Stamps and Seals, and that book is literally a part of my soul set on paper for the whole world to see. I was freaking terrified before it was published, but I’m also damn proud of myself for what I have done with that book.
Agbaje Olohuntosin Omolara on Thursday Talk Series
Q. If like a movie your life up to this point is played for you to watch, describe how you’d feel about it?
A. I’d probably say something along the lines of ‘Why the fu*k am I being made to watch this?” while I cringe and try not to die from second-hand embarrassment.
Thank you Lara for the interview, it was my pleasure and all the best with product designing. And thank you guys for showing up every Thursday.❤️
I’m reading Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged, and the book has taken over my life. Literally. It’s Thursday already, you see what I’m saying. The last thing I remember was diving into the book, and that was Monday. A little something from that corner.
This is for anybody out there who is struggling to meet deadlines and is feeling overwhelmed by life in general. It’s not easy to work on so many projects at the same time without running the risk of neglecting one or two and then feeling like a total loser because of it. I have a lot going on right now guys and I am cutting really close to my deadlines and losing sleep. I have found that if not properly managed it affects my ability to focus and be creative. I try to tell myself that this too shall pass, and I’m working towards creating a more productive space for myself🤞🏾 I’ll share tips/tools that I’m currently utilizing to help step up my working game, but that will be another day.
Let me introduce Jiya, it’s really great to have him here. So Jiya gives off the first impression that he can be easily read but really he’s a lot like Rubik’s Cube, cool and complex. One moment you think you have him all figured out, and then wham! he reveals another side of himself that is totally unexpected. Jiya is also the one person to call if you need to keep the place alive with humor and terrific/deep conversations (obsessed with his voice and for a good reason; he sounds like raw honey and spice😌). He personal exudes self-awareness, and he’s introspective, intense, and very passionate
Q. Can you introduce yourself and what you do?
A. Sure! I’m Daniel Jiya Majin, but I mostly go by Jiya. I’m a Podcaster, Story Writer, and Singer. I love Anime, deep discussions, music, and women.
Daniel Jiya Majin
Q. Why do you do your job, and would you rather do something else?
A. I do my job because it’s what I can do with the least amount of stress for money. I don’t know if it’s fair to say I’d rather do something else. It’s more like I’d rather do a more polished and complete version of what I currently do, that makes more money.
Q. What’s your idea of real success and how can it be achieved?
A. Success to me is being able to live and thrive off doing the things you want to do. The things you really want to do. I want to have interesting and deep conversations with people. I want to write compelling and heart-felt stories that touch people. I want to stir hearts with my voice, If I can ever make a living from doing these things, I win. That’s a success.
Q. What do you appreciate about yourself and what would you like to change?
A. I appreciate that I’m not afraid to look inward to see what’s wrong. I appreciate that I have a kind heart even though I feel like it makes me weak. I appreciate that I’m somewhat intelligent. I appreciate my fantastic physical frame. I wish I could change my work ethic. I wish I could change my inability to handle failure properly. I wish I could change my emotional insecurities. I wish I was more driven and motivated.
Q. If you could, what’s the one thing you’d change about the world?
A. The lack of understanding between people. It’s crazy how many misunderstandings and a lack of connection set us back as a people.
Q. What do you perceive your biggest losses are, financially or people?
A. I actually think they’re more personal, but I’ll put down my desire to flog myself. Definitely financial. I’m actually blessed to still be surrounded by so many wonderful people.
Q. What kind of people do you allow into your circle?
A. People who show an interest in me, people who listen and think, and most importantly, people I like.
Q. If money was not relevant, what would you do all day?
A. Sing, play competitive video games, exercise, smoke weed with my friends, and talk about our experiences.
Q. What superpowers would you like to have and why?
A. Reading minds. Cuz control over the heart and mind is the ultimate power.
Jiya
Success to me is being able to live and thrive off doing the things you want to do. The things you really want to do….have interesting and deep conversations…write heart felt stories that touch people…stir hearts with my voice, If I can ever make a life from doing these things, I win. That’s success.
Q. What’s the one thing you think that should be taught in school about choosing a career that isn’t?
A. That it’s okay to figure out what you want as you go along. A lot of the time we get put in boxes yeah? Then we’re constantly told “think out of the box”. But they never teach you how.
Thank you Jiya for the interview and to everyone reading, hope you have a fabulous Thursday.
Disclaimer: Self reflection is a good thing and necessary to elevate our lives, it can also be challenging and requires discipline.
I know it’s hard to find out something different from the visual and mental representation that we already have of ourselves. From my experience, once you embark on self-reflection, you either feel like a million bucks or like roadkill. You know how it is with having a crush, you get to know them and eventually you get crushed because they don’t look so iconic to you anymore. Yeah, that’s how getting to know yourself better can feel, however, it’s not always the case.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates
What Is Self Reflection
Self reflection is one of the ways in which we can learn certain things about ourselves that would help us change and improve our lives. When we self reflect, we take off the blinders and this allows us to see ourselves for who we truly are. When we are honest with ourselves, we are able to process our thoughts, learn from past mistakes and successes, and it gives us a fighting chance as we tackle the future. Another thing is that we are able to acknowledge our feelings instead of hiding behind them and this is a great way to progress.
Is Self Reflection Good Or Bad?
Self reflection can go both ways like I said earlier. When done in a constructive manner it brings about positive changes but if haphazardly done and focused only the negative aspects, it could cause a person to spiral down.
The brain is a survival mechanism constantly alert to our needs. Simi Rayat mentioned that if the brain receives signal that we feel threatened or out of our comfort zone, it is possible for our mind to deploy hacks and shortcuts to manage such situations. This will cause the brain to tell us lies that can mess with our decisions, thinking and interpretations.
Note: It is also important to try to understand where other people’s opinion of you are coming from in other to shield against the ones that have no benefits to you.
Why Self Reflect?
#For Growth and Understanding
“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First by reflection, which is the noblest; second by imitation, which is the easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”
Confucius
Nobody that I know of has cracked the code 100% on how to elevate the way they see themselves, but a lot of positive changes can come through self reflection. This can go a long way to help you get clarity and find your purpose. It also inspires growth and a better understanding of who you are as a person. Always remember it is important that you don’t lose sight of who you are.
#Gets Rid of Insecurities
“Don’t become too preoccupied with what is happening around you, pay more attention to what is going on within you.”
Mary-Francis Winters
Perhaps you are in a low place and struggling with general anxiety, one of the best thing you can do for yourself is to self reflect. To fix a problem, it is important that you have to first know where it’s coming from and tackle it at the source unless it will persist.
#Improves Your Relationships
“Before I ask you to sit with me,
I must be able to sit with myself,
Before I ask you to accept my pain,
I have to accept the pain myself,
Before I ask you to love me,
I have to be madly in love with myself.”
C.Thoth
Many times we are the problem in our relationships and we are not aware of it, because how we see ourselves can be skewed and misinterpreted. We are only able to take the necessary steps towards self improvement when we become aware of our faults and flaws. Self reflection leads to self awareness, which leads to better relationships with our families, friends and colleagues.
#Promotes Self Acceptance
“Time spent in self reflection is never wasted, it is an intimate date with yourself.”
Paul TP Wong
When we are able to process our emotions and thoughts, we feel a greater connection to ourselves. It opens up our mind to several possibilities to explore those ideas that we have and channel them in a positive way. For example there are times I would repeat to myself, “I’m beautiful; I’m important; I’m not pathetic,” and so on. This happens a lot when I have intrusive thoughts that target my self confidence – pretty nasty stuff – and the only way for me is to channel positive energy to tackle them. I’m aware it makes all the difference to my physical and my mental health.
Start Reflecting
Ask yourself questions, especially the hard ones – you know those ones that makes you cringe or causes your chest to tighten . Be sure to reflect on your experiences; introspection is important and can help you track the things that you did, felt and thought at certain moments. You are going through your memories like a movie reel without editing parts of it. Don’t forget to take it easy on yourself, things that are not going right can be fixed with discipline and TLC (Tender, Love and Care).
I’m off to go do some self reflection (mehn things are about to get bloody up in here), wish me all the best.
When a man was reborn, the first question he asked was not, ‘Where am I?’ It was, ‘Who am I?’
We did not know who he was or how he happened to be. Therefore, we could not give him an answer.
Well, here is a man with his slate cleaned. He suffers a loss of identity, feels displaced and confused. ‘I used to be somebody, but I do not know who I am anymore.’ He asked, ‘Why did I do the things I did, who did I love, and who did I hate? Who am I? He continues to ask with the hopes of getting answers someday.
Who can say that they know another, when they do not even know themselves? If your secrets are locked in the darkest corner of your heart, who else can unlock them except you?
When a baby is born, he is without identity. Untethered and unbound to people and institutions. He is without a knowledge of the world.
What then makes a man? Is it his name or his family; his relationships or his country? Is he defined by the job he performs or by his religion? Does his time in jail reflect on his true character? Or could it be that the things he said when he was full of anger, were the same as his feelings?
When stripped of everything, and as a child, the world appears new and exciting. What pray tell, will you become?
When a man was reborn, the first question he asked was not, ‘Where am I?’ It was, ‘Who am I?’
Photo credit: Rigozo
Hey lovelies! Remember to like and comment. I hope we all find the answers that we seek and become the best versions of ourselves.
I was on a trip once upon a time. I took a night bus from Kaduna bound to Lagos. It was the close of the year and the holiday festivities were in full swing. Empty seats on all sides, there were scant passengers on board.
The night was cold and dark. I sat by the window and looked out occasionally when streetlights or lightbulbs illuminated the scene as we drove past.
I was wearing my old grey hoodie and black sweatpants and head warmer, with wooly socks. I’d told No’ to send me some albums over the weekend, so I listened to them as I burrowed into the seats until sleep claimed me.
I woke up early to see the sunrise. I got lucky. We were in Osun, I remember. And the sun was a brilliant orange ball in the sky that chased away the night’s chill with its warmth. The trees were tall and dense and small hills dotted the horizon as moved from one sleepy town to the next.
I didn’t wish for us to stop and stay for a while. I didn’t want to meet the town folks to ask how they got by. The magic was in looking out and watching the world go by, like waves on the seashores. Captivated by its beauty but untouched by it…even as I looked forward to finding new places.
The truth scares the bejesus out of most people and that is why it is problematic to accept. I’ve learnt it the hard way. You can’t really know everything about a person. It’s not only because they may lie, pretend, hide or omit certain things. It could be that it’s on a need-to-know-basis, like in spy movies; sometimes you just can’t see it. You are looking at them but you’re not seeing them for who they really are. I usually don’t arrive at the heart of things all philosophical like Yoda but yeah, that’s how it is tonight as I go through everything that has happened.
It was the weekend I went with my friends, China and Kay, to see a play that my cousin Tari produced down at the theatre. Everybody loves the man, he’s the local super star. I managed to swipe free tickets from him – promoted him to favorite cousin extraordinaire. The play was going so well and I was chugging down drinks like no man’s business. Until I had to go, real bad. That kind of thing ever happened to you, when the show gets to the interesting part and you’re keen on savoring every bit of it but your bladder gets other ideas? I made funny noises and got out of my seat faster than you could say plantain chips.
As I was about to get down to business in one of the stalls I heard voices coming into the restroom. Ah! There’s no privacy in public. I tried to tune them out by focusing on the scruffs on my boots.
“Hey! Hey! Cut that out and listen” one of the voices piped loudly. The voice was husky, as if the owner smoked a pack a day. You know the fear that grips you when it feels like you’ve unknowingly wandered into a horror movie set? That was how I felt. “Did you see the crowd out there? I told you Tari’s a good-for-nothing swine but he’s the reason why the company is doing so well. He may act like he’s got his shit together but that idiot deserves to have nails shoved into his eyes” Husky mouths off.
I really am in a horror movie. Tari? My cousin? Someone turned on the tap. I couldn’t hear much of what was said until it was turned off.
“Only thing his worthless ass is good for is wiping the floor” another voice said. The voice was different, squeaky like old bed springs. Squeaky sniffed as she talked “He tried to feel me up the other day while I was sorting out the costumes. Said he could get me to play the lead female. I’ve heard the other girls talking. They say a lot. I turned him down. I guess that’s why he dropped me before opening night” She said it slowly and the words fell heavy and cold.
How many Taris were in the play? I was reeling. I wanted to go out there and tell them to shut up. My Tari? No! Husky and Squeaky kept using colorful words to describe him. It was awful. They left and I wanted to follow but I still had my business to take care of. My momma said to me one time, “The truth is a wild card, when it steps into the building it can get real ugly.” This was after she gave me a major ass whopping for playing in the rain, even though I wasn’t supposed to and it made me sick with the flu for days. Tough love? I’m stubborn. That’s my truth, at least the one I’m aware of, which is why I still hop about in the rain. I refused to believe what I heard about him. Skies! It was really hard to deal with. It still is. You know trust is a fragile thing. If you go stomping on it be prepared to watch it shatter into a billion pieces. Try putting it back together. Good luck! You’ll need it.
Tonight I sprawl on a thin mattress up on the roof and absently swat the mosquitoes that feast on me like I’m jollof rice on a Sunday. My safe space. You can find me up here every other night looking the epitome of relaxed and without a care in the world. When it comes down to it, out here in the open, I’m reminded that I’m part of the phenomenon that is this colossal universe – though a tiny speck I may be – and that is freaking awesome and creepy at the same time. It’s creepy because a whole lot of things out there can influence the outcome of events, and I would be forced to react to this outcome. In fact not reacting is a reaction. And it works the other way around. Do you get what I’m saying? We are all inevitably woven into the fabric of the world, locked in a children’s game of tag. So it turned out that Husky and Squeaky left me with a bag of snakes to deal with and ever since I’ve been stuck on that night searching for answers.
The clouds hide the moon for a bit and I look as the lights that scatter all over town shine intensely. I imagine what most folks will be up to right now and it’s funny what I come up with. Maybe truths and what makes them true is easy. It could be that Tari is nothing like what I heard them say that unfortunate night, he probably puts up an act because of the line of work he is in. Also consider that earth is Midgard and I can prove it if I find Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge.
If I say the the truth can only be explained with things that can be seen but not felt, I should be ready to face the controversies as they twerk forward in their numbers. A lot of folks will want to know where sixth sense and instinct comes to play because there are people out there who have this awareness. I on the other hand did not get any misogynistic bastard vibes from my cousin, and I’ve never seen him be anything but polite and charming.
I’ve known the bloke my whole life. Again there’s only so much you know about the people in your life. I know China to be shy and reserved but that’s because she’s been dealing with her step sister’s nonsense for so long she’s become non confrontational. Tries to fix everything. My girl is the nicest person I know but when she brings down the thunder, you’ll quake in your pants. Kay – Kayode is just crazy. You’ll understand what I’m saying if you spend a few minutes with him. He’s a nerd through and through, with a mouth that gets him in trouble all the time. He also raps. Weird I know. We love to read, it’s our first love. We also cry whenever we watch the Titanic, especially Kay. If you ask me I’ll say I know all there is to know about my friends. They are my ride or die. But lately I’ve let myself get distracted by all the things I don’t know about them. It is not cool.
I’m going to switch to Dumbledor. He said: “The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with caution” He also said, “One cannot have enough socks” so yeah, you should probably listen to him. Life is hard, if not we won’t need each other to get through all the crazy. Life is also good, I know because there is evidence of it all around me. I don’t get a lot of things; like how we say war brings peace or to love is to hurt or quantum physics. I do know that a lot of what we do is basic, not so complicated. In philosophy some have argued that truth is grounded in belief. I believe in God. I believe in karma – what goes around comes around, to bite you in the derrière. They are my truth because I believe.
Clearly, who you say you are and who people say you are defines you. But in the end you decide what you make of yourself. So when I pay more attention to myself, and choose for myself, and believe in the choices that I make, it will transform into my truth. Whatever ‘it’ may be. Others will eventually see this one way or another and come to their own conclusion. This is why I still have to figure Tari out. I love him but I can’t live with not knowing. The first step is to condition my heart and mind to be ready to face the truth, that is what I’m working on; which is the hardest part to deal with. The next step is to find the truth.
Waking Dreams Unmasked 