On Getting Better For Myself

Hey guys! I hope you all had a great time and are looking forward to the rest of the month. Well, I have been busy, and it seems like it will be the same until the end of the year – no breaks for me.

It’s has been a bit crazy, and I’m surprised that I haven’t lost my head completely. Hands down I get the best support from the awesome people around me who genuinely care about my physical and mental health. They are the reason I’m able to stay sane and keep pushing. Also, I’m doing the things I care about and it helps me go to work with a lot of positive energy and produce better results.

I should mention that I often think about becoming a better version of myself, lot, and all the ways that it can be achieved. Also, how I struggle to understand and appreciate myself every day and try to do the right things that are right for me. This has helped me to push away people and habits that are toxic and irrelevant to my growth.

Now, it hasn’t been easy, and I would like to share with you those things I have been struggling with the past couple of months and have acknowledged.

Having Anxiety and Stress

I won’t call myself a perfectionist – that’s too high a bar to set for myself. When I start something, I set my mind to do my best. Nonetheless, I’ll say that I struggle to manage situations when they get out of my control because I like to have a firm grasp of things, and do my best to avoid surprises. If things don’t go as planned I start to freak out, get anxious and overwhelmed, and shocks will go through my body. Always, as long as I have to get work done and something messes with my schedule unexpectedly, I just have to breathe to stabilize. Stress gives me legit headaches. My brain, my heart, they just can’t deal with all of that. People’s intentions are great but I prefer to be far away from whatever affects me negatively.

Lack of Organizational Skills

A big shout-out to people who are organized and can work with daily planners to stay productive. The only reason why I’m so inconsistent with blogging I have several things I have to do but I just can’t manage my time well. If I’m being honest I let myself get distracted by a lot of things when I should be productive. I set tasks in my calendar to do for the week and I barely meet up. I feel like my life would be a lot better if I were more organized.

Taking Care Of Myself

I think y’all are beginning to understand how much of a mess I can be and believe me when I say day-to-day. So, I love to take care of myself, but I only do the basics (read the part about anxiety and stress above). Anything that requires me to do extra beyond washing and moisturizing my body, I see as a lot of work. My skin however has been surviving despite my negligence. But for how long? A few days back, I realized that my hair was damaged and my hair loss scared me. I realized after checking for help that stress and too much tension while manipulating myself were the culprits. Now hair breakage is normal, but when you shed hair a lot, that’s scary. So yeah, my hair is unhealthy and I have to fix it or lose it. Of course, I freaked out, but that’s nothing new.

Presently, I’m not entirely happy with myself, but neither am going to throw myself out in the trash. I know I’m getting no worksheet that helps me magically work this out because getting better takes a lot of hard work and commitment. My friend told me that there would always be things that are out of our control, but some things we can control, like reading books, eating well, taking care of our body and hair, making a work schedule, and sticking with it, exercise, or do yoga, and so on. To become better is therefore personal decision to do all that I can take that’s within my capability. Do my best and leave the rest they say.

This reminds me, I’m aware that I haven’t written a story or a poem in a very long time, instead, all the writings I do these days are work-related and I haven’t done photography as much. That is why I will like to take another route from here on out, starting from this post. I’ll be coming in here to dump my thoughts. I don’t mean to pour out every impression or try to bemoan my existence. Lol. I’ll just be sharing snippets of the things I do, books I’ve read, songs I’m jamming to, and how I get through life. Like doing reality checks now and again.

I hope you have a beautiful day. Try to be better for yourself, not for anybody – although people can inspire you. Make sure the conviction comes from you.

Sending love and light,

Until next time.

PS. I’ve started taking care of my hair. It would be a while before it gets better, and I’m looking forward to it.


Phone photography of a gas station
Shot with my phone and edited on snapseed
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Thursday Talk Series |How To Do It The Hassanian Way

Rigozo

Hello guys! Hope your week so far has been soft? I like that word and all that it implies. I’m glad to be a part of this Thursday’s interview (I’m the host, where else will I be?) Clearly, I can say this for a couple of people too.

I have Hassan today and he has his unique way of seeing the world. Focused on transforming lives for the better, and laying the foundation for youth empowerment in today’s government, he shows the markings of ‘A man of the people.‘ I’m not hyping him really. I’m sure you would like to meet him too.

Q. Can you introduce yourself and what you do?

A. Hi, My name is Hassan Nurudeen Olanrewaju but most people call me Hassan aka Thehassanian (Yep, check that out on Twitter and sometimes IG). I am 27 years old and I am a Development Personnel. I use the term ‘development personnel’ because I have been working in the development space for some 3 years now in various capacities. I am mostly in the programs department where I formulate, design, and implement programs that hopefully will impact the larger society. I am from Osun state though I was born and bred in Lagos state, and I’m currently living in Abuja. I like to think of myself as a hedonist, although mostly in thoughts (because this adulthood dey reduce man tendencies to just do what you want and be free). I write sometimes and on days that I am in love, I write poems too. However, the current situation of things has driven me to write more about society.

TheHassanian

Q. Can you share how what you do is relevant to society?

A. Hmm! How do I explain this o. Okay, I currently work for an organization – YouthHubAfrica as their Program Officer on Governance and Accountability. My job revolves around creating awareness for the people by utilizing several programs designed by me and the organization. I also carry out advocacies on issues that affect the people, eg trying to influence government policies et all. Sometimes it can be both which is, creating awareness so that people understand how government policies will affect them, and using the momentum to mount pressure on the government to change or reverse its policies.

Q. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

A. Hahaha, I am an extrovert most times. Some say I am a talkative sef. However, I can be introverted at times. When I am in a new place or where there is a debate and the issues are not what I am familiar with, I will be quiet and try to learn from the debate. But most times, I am extroverted.

Q. Do you consider that people are basically bad or basically good?

A. I think it mostly depends on your definition of good and bad. What I consider to be good might not be what you see as good, and vice versa. When we talk about the universally accepted definition of good and bad, I’d like to think most people are good. They may have flaws, yet most people tend to fall on the good side.

Q. What was the last book you read and what can you say about it?

A. Oil, Politics, and Violence; Nigeria’s Military Coup Culture (1966-1976) by Max Soillun (Published 2009). I am a history buff, and I go really hard for political history. I like to read Nigeria’s political history because it gives me a glimpse into the past and our mistakes as a people, and I hope with the lessons I learn from reading it, I can help my generation to avoid the same mistakes. The book by Max speaks on Nigeria’s Coup Culture; what happened, how it happened, and when it happened. It is quite detailed in explaining the coups that happened within the ten-year period of the book’s scope. I really hope more Nigerians will take our history seriously because Nigeria has been stuck in a loop since the 1800s and we can’t keep going on like this (sighs).

Q. What do you feel you take for granted, and how does it affect you?

A. I think I take life for granted. I am not serious or as focused as most people think of me. I am too optimistic for my liking. How does it affect me? Hmm, I think when I feel like I am too far along the edge, I find that I can press the brake, and take a breather. Ironically, what I consider as ‘Living on the Edge’ is what most people consider as living a normal life.

Q. What do you appreciate about yourself and what would you like to change?

A. Hahaha, we had a development program at work recently and they asked this same question. I will try to be as non-mechanical as possible with my answer. I think I like myself in general. I like my thought process even though I always want to improve on it. I like my alone time; I can be alone for a long time and not be bothered. I like a lot of things about me and I’d be lying if I say I can mention them all. What would I love to change? I think I love too hard. I would love a situation where I profess my love to someone and if they say no, I’d move on. Rather than spending the next few months of my life convincing them to date me or something. (I sound pathetic right now but trust me, it’s not as bad as you might think).

Q. What would top your list as the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?

A. I think I am a conservative person in terms of emotions, I do some spontaneous shit but generally, they are normal things. So I can’t really say I have done a lot of crazy things. However, in my freshman year, I stayed outside with a girl past curfew because the porter in her hostel won’t let her in. So there I was, sitting in the cold with a girl around 1am, not feeling bothered that School Security would come for me. At around 2am, one of the porters finally let her in and I had to trek from Awolowo hall in UI to Central-mosque to sleep. Because of course, my hostel had been locked too.

Q. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

A. Most people will call me crazy for this but I think one place I’d love to live Is, India. Southern India most preferably. I’d just like to meet with them, soak in their rich culture, enjoy their architecture, and enjoy the uniqueness of each city I visit.

Q. What plans would you like to put in place to make the world a better place?

A. Doing what I do best, creating awareness within my circle, and hoping that the echo is loud enough. I’ll also read more as the days go by. Knowledge isn’t entirely power,  but it is a means to it. I’d also write out all the nonsense in my heart. Check them out here – I really hope these little things help make the world a better place.

“I like to read Nigeria’s political history because it gives me a glimpse into the past and our mistakes as a people, and I hope with the lessons I learn from reading it, I can help my generation to avoid the same mistakes.”

TheHasssanian

Q. What’s the one thing you think that should be taught in school about choosing a career that isn’t?

A. People Skill and Writing. These two will take you anywhere in my opinion.
People skill because, in an ever-changing and populated world, work skills aren’t the only thing that will speak for you. The way you relate with people will also factor in.  People are more likely to get remembered for their people skill rather than professional skills. That’s why it seems some people, even though they are average at what they do, get to go far. Evidently, they can handle how they relate with the people.
As regards writing, everyone needs to learn how to write and project their thoughts in such a way that it’s quite hard to misconstrue them. We are in a social-media-dominated world and with the exception of a few video and audio-related apps, most social media platforms are writing-based apps. You have to write out your thoughts. Even at work, it’s not every time you’d have the opportunity to talk to your colleagues or superiors directly about an idea or something. Writing makes it easier to communicate. Also, write because you’d want the next generation to read and learn from you.


Thank you Hassan for the interview, wish you all the best.💗

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