Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. (Ephesians 4: 26 – 31) English Standard Version.
I said I would let everyone know how I deal with anger in my last post for Thursday Talk Series. Let me make it clear that there is no universal code for dealing with anger. I might be wrong and there is one, please don’t hesitate to share with me.
What I’ll be discussing today is what anger is and tips on how to manage anger.
What is Anger?
Anger is our natural response as humans to perceived threats. It’s a normal emotion. When you get angry, your body shows symptoms like increased blood pressure, muscle tension, irritability, rage, and stress.
There are various reasons why you can get angry. These are your triggers and it is not the same for everyone.
• You get angry when things do not go as planned. For instance, an event was scheduled for 10 am but it didn’t start until 11:45 am.
• When you are wronged. Those times when you get into a fight with your sibling, and your parents take their side without consulting your side of the story.
There are other instances, like having unwelcomed memories, a tragic occurrence, when you are in pain, depressed, or worried.
So anger is not a “bad thing”
Yes! What is important is how you manage your anger.
Anger can be a force for good. It can motivate you to make a positive decision. It can also bolster your confidence to speak up for yourself or take a stand. However, if you are not careful, anger can be unhealthy and destructive. It can be toxic to you and your relationships.
Tips on how to manage anger
Know your triggers
If you don’t already know your triggers, you are wrong. If you see a storm brewing, you can either avoid it or brace yourself for impact. That is why a lot of people say, “I don’t know what came over me,” but it’s already too late. Knowing your triggers helps you to be prepared for various situations. I’m a big fan of self-reflection and it is one way I use to understand my emotions.
I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have pulled the plug on my anger by removing myself physically from the place. If it’s an argument that is going nowhere, I walk away. If I find myself wishing to act violently, I walk away. I need a time-out before things escalate.
I don’t know the science of it but it works. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. Each breath drives away the fog of anger that sits heavy on me and helps me gain clarity.
Talk it out
Sometimes, all it takes is to reason with yourself or with the other party. You do not want destructive anger churning in your gut, so always try to find ways to avoid it. Talk about why you got angry. Apologize if you are at fault. Forgive the other person if they apologize. Move on from the entire thing if possible. Let it go.
What is important is to find a system that helps you manage your anger so that it is not destructive. Remember, choose good vibes always.
Let me know how you manage your anger in the comments.
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