Day 3 – Birthday


‘James! James! James! Wake up!’

I sit on my brother’s bed and shake his legs.

‘Stop pretending. I saw your eyes twitch when I opened the curtains.’

I tap him on his back. He rolls over and pulls the sheet over his head.

‘Wake up – one, wake up – two; wake up – three… I’m not joking with you o.’

I’m beginning to tire of his nonsense.

‘James, wake up!’ I shout in the general direction of his ears but get no reaction.

‘Ehn ehn, this is how you want to play it abi? Okay. No problem’

I leave his room.

I return with a cold glass of water and start to sing softly.

‘Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you….’

As I finish the song, I dump the water on James’ head.

‘Blood of Jesus!’ He shouts. He nearly takes out my eyes when he jumps out of his bed and lands face-first on the floor – strike one, I cheer silently.

‘Blood of Zachariah and John the Baptist nko.’ I taunt as I drop the cup on a chair and turn to face him.

I can’t help but giggle as he tries to mop the water on his face with his lucky shirt – mum bought it for him a long time ago.

‘You are very wicked. See, my blanket and bed got wet – it will start to smell.’

‘Nothing new about that, my dear.’ And I laugh so hard until my sides start to hurt.

“You are laughing?” James blurts out in disbelief.

“No o. I’m crying.” I say mockingly.

‘If I catch you, I swear I will remove all your teeth.’ I move out of reach just as he lunges for me, murder in his eyes. He loses his balance and lands like a sack of sweet potatoes on the floor. His legs had been tangled up in the sheets when he fell out of his bed earlier.

‘Strike two.’ I yell, laughing and jumping like a werey. Tears fall from my eyes and I have to lean against the wall to keep myself from falling. Today, the theme color of his room is warm and earthy. I like it. His creativity and design sense never ceases to amaze me.

‘This is not how you handle a big man like me, especially on my birthday. In fact, you are manhandling me.’ He looks like an Egyptian mummy on the floor.

‘Big man ke? Since when. Bros you just turned twenty, who is deceiving you? Shebi it’s those girls with small bum-bum in your school.’

James opens his mouth as if to protest but I put my hands up.

‘I don’t want to hear pim. Before you say anything, let me tell you now that I got us tickets to the music festival downtown. Ah! I see your eyes are already shining. Oya! You can talk now, but mind what you say or I will just misplace your ticket.’

‘My sister, my sister.’

‘My brother, my brother.’

‘My favorite big sister in the world.’

‘Correction. You mean your only sister in the world – make that your only sibling.’

‘Ehn ehn na.’

James picks himself up from the floor and detangles his legs from the sheets. Unexpectedly he pulls me into a tight hug.

‘Happy Birthday J-boy.’ I sigh into his neck. I try hard to hold back the tears this time.

‘Thank you, Jane.’

‘You’re welcome!’

‘And thank you for the tickets. What will I do without you?’

‘I see that you’re not a mannerless human being after all. Good. To answer your question – nothing.’

‘Happy Birthday to you too, stubborn goat.” James says and nips my ear.

‘Ouch! Stop that.’ I pull away from him and cover my ears with my hands.

‘Well, it’s nice of you to finally remember that I am your twin – your older sister, and not the house-help.” I say sarcastically.

‘Please. It’s not like you will ever let me forget that you entered this world a minute before me, Madam Jane.’


To be continued.

#Day 3 of 30 days writing challenge – Not Enough Writers

Photo Credit: Pexels

Human Nature – Dream vs Reality


It’s one of two things – I’m a bloody genius or I‘m bat shit crazy.

You can decide after you are done reading this post. I already have the answer.

It’s 2:33 am and I had just woken up from a hair-raising dream.

I believe that this dream happened because I started watching Shingeki no Kyojin – Attack on Titan (AOT) a few days ago. It’s a dark fantasy anime about how humans where driven to the brink on extinction by gigiantic man-eating humanoids called titans (Eotenas), and settled behind three huge walls to protect themselves. I found out that the Director, Tetsurō Araki also did Death Note – now that’s another mind-blowing anime. I know some people would say the hype about AOT is not worth it, but guys I’m in Season 3 and so far, I’m intrigued. I think it’s a masterpiece.

And no, this is not just about my love for AOT. It’s about dreams and reality, and how the two overlap.

Back to my dream.

About ten soldiers were together in a log cabin at night. There was a fireplace and candles were scattered around the sparsely furnished room. The scene was rustic and shadows cavorted in the gloom.

The atmosphere in the room was tense. They all stood in a loose circle, but I still couldn’t make out what they were arguing about as I watched them. One man stood out from the rest – I assumed he was their commander – and clearly, he was the one in charge. Or so I thought.

Nothing prepared me for what happened next.

As the commander fought for his life, I heard him shout at them in an agonized voice, “I knew something was off. I saw the evidence of it on the battlefield.

I noticed that the lone fellow that didn’t attack him pulled back into the corner as shocked as I was by his comrades’ actions. At first, it looked as if he was going to help the commander but the odds were against him – mind you nobody paid me any attention. Anyway, he didn’t stand a chance.

Soon the commander was screaming his head off because his men tore into him with their teeth.

They were eating the commander alive.

Yo! I did not see that coming.

The commander’s screams were raw and anguished, as if pulled from the depths of his soul, even as chunks of his flesh were bitten off savagely and consumed by his men. Their eyes were fevered and their faces were covered in blood as they clawed him like wild beasts. The man in the corner was frozen, his eyes glued to the scene before him, wide with terror.

The fire was crackling in the hearth, the commander was choking on his blood, his men were feasting on him and my heart was hammering in my chest.

Hei! The shock of what I just witnessed was unlike anything. If I could, I would have emptied the contents of my stomach on the floor. I was terrified to the bone, and even though a part of me knew I was dreaming.

Sometimes a dream can feel so real, reality pales in comparison.

Thankfully, I woke up.

I was reeling from the dream and was unable to shake it off even after several minutes had passed – usually my dreams fade away from memory as soon as I open my eyes but this one was a keeper.

And so, I mulled over the dream in the dark, unable to go back to sleep. Can you blame me? My brain was keen on it and started up threads of thoughts – like a mind map.

No spoiler: If you’ve watched Attack on Titan, you’d know that the Titans or Eotenas preyed on humans and pushed them to the brink of extinction. Eren Jaeger is the protagonist and had enough reasons to hate the Titans. Along with his childhood friends Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackermann, they joined the Military, Survey Regiment and fought side by side to wipe out the Titans.

Of course, I was aware that the nature of my dream which drifted towards human depravity – in this case, cannibalism. In fact my brain needed no extra push to bring up The Tenescowri from the book Memories of Ice (A Tale of Malazan Book of the Fallen). This is a series that I am curently reading.

Interpretation of the Tenescowri by Jeanfverreault

No spoiler: The Tenescowri were the peasant army of the Pannion Domin (a continent in the book). Their ranks were made up of survivors of the Domin’s crusade against its neighbors. The Pannion Seer (their god-king) purposely starved them and used them to support his army as an expendable force. They were all bat shit crazy and fed on the dead – even devoured their comrades that fell in battle – and the women raped dying enemies to give birth to The Children of The Dead Seed. They overwhelmed the enemies with the sheer force of their numbers and hunger. Their leader was a guy called Anaster.

No spoiler: Another instance of cannibalism was a tribe mentioned by Major Hange Zoë in AOT – She’s a member of the Scout Regiment (one of the three armed forces that make up the military) and commander of the fourth squad. While conducting a research on two captured Titans – she took the liberty to name them Bean and Sawney – she told them a story about a vicious tribe of humans that developed a taste for human flesh (just like titans chomped on humans). They hid in caves tucked in the mountains and terrorized travelers that used the roads – they robbed them, killed them, and ate their flesh. They continued unopposed for 25 years and about 500 people fell prey to them before they were wiped out.

By now you may have concluded that my head holds a lot of rubbish scenes of bloodbaths and so it’s no wonder that my dream was fifty shades of messed up. I agree with you. Every genius must have felt overwhelmed like I was, it’s the price to pay for awesomeness. Which was why, while normal people slept, my mind was having a fine time churning out human depravities, both real and imagined, as I lay in the dark.

Is man by nature good or evil?

Somehow I started considering the statement, ‘The strong prey on the weak.’ By weak I mean those that are unable to defend themselves from getting crushed by powerful entities; those that are easily influenced; the poor and the sick. And last week I had a conversation with a friend and he mentioned that Weak is relative. He was trying to say that even in the gathering of the strong, they will not all have the same level of strength. This was all just floating around in my head and of course AOT conveniently fit into it. I’m reminded of Armin Arlert.

No spoiler: Armin Arlert is also a soldier of the Scout Regiment and childhood friend of Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackermann. Armin, although percieved to be the weakest, is highly intelligent, most definitely a fine deuteragonist, and such a dreamer. 

“We’re going to explore the outside world someday, right? Far beyond these walls, there’s flaming water, land made of ice, and fields of sand spread wide. It’s the world my parents wanted to go to” – Armin Arlert

“The strong feed upon the weak. It’s such an obligingly simple rule. Except in this world, my friends tried to be strong.” – Armin Arlert

“I don’t like the terms “good person” or “bad person” because it is impossible to be entirely good to everyone. To some, you are a good person, while to others, you are a bad person.”
― Armin Arlert

My brain was full steam ahead. Somehow it conveniently forgot that we should be resting. So rude! And moments later I remembered a bible passage that I came across in a book titled Love – The Way to victory by Kenneth E. Hagin (I had to open my bible and do a search of the general area because I couldn’t recall it exactly).

Hebrews 8: 11And they shall not teach everyone his fellow or every one his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for all shall know me, from the least of them to the greatest. Revised Standard Version

Okay! I think I had something there but mehn I was tired and I wanted to shut down everything and call it a night. The way it was, I had a dream, and thereafter I was unable to sleep because my mind kept churning out random thoughts that seemed to have no direction whatsoever, but had the making of geniusness.

My final thought – I could feel my brain start to power down – “All men are born equal, is hogwash”. It sounds like a dream or something out of fantasy an epic fantasy. Because everybody cannot be at the top. Men may say it but the reality is that circumstances of birth, resources, and many other factors determine a man’s place in society’s hierarchy.

I’m not exactly a fan of dreaming, especially when I just want to shut my eyes, my body and my mind – including childhood trauma – I dig day dreams though. But before I could file this thought away and reclaim my sleep, another part of my brain went King-Kong on me. If I was reading the fireworks going off correctly, the disagreement was based on the context in which, ‘All Men are born equal,’ was used. That at the time Thomas Jefferson wrote it, he didn’t mean individual equality and …. blah blah blah (In retrospect I’m glad I didn’t bother to delve into it because in reality, that is a lot of garbage to sift through).

Dreams are products of our deepest desires and a reflection of our reality. Sometimes, dreams can be so far removed from reality and make no sense whatsoever. I was not inclined to solve the mystery of man’s nature in the middle of the night, despite my mind forming sense – I know myself.

At that moment I just didn’t care anymore, and let the warring factions in my head slug it out while I sought out sleep.

Side note: I should mention that I got up, grabbed my journal and wrote a draft of everything that happened from the moment I woke up because I didn’t want to forget any of it – which I usually do.

Also, I tuned in to a small voice that nagged me to make the entire midnight escapad into a blog post – dream versus reality – I agreed with it. And I had the perfect opening sentence.

It’s one of two things – I’m a bloody genius or I‘m bat shit crazy.

Which is it?

What If Tomorrow Never Comes And You Have Been Procrastinating



Happy New Year 🎊

Disclaimer: This post was unplanned.

Hah! I want to chat about a thought on procrastination that crossed my mind.

Like omg, I can’t believe I’m saying this – I feel led to talk about it.

Well, I’m currently doing an audit of my blog and wanted to wait until I’m finished before I post this year, but it just came to me…

“What if I never finish the audit?”


I mean. Goosebumps.

Procrastination is real. I face it every time and a lot of people are battling it. Because it lies in wait to grab your attention when you lose guard. The creep is watching you.

In my writer’s group yesterday, Not Enough Writers, it was a declaration or should I say a confession that procrastination is a problem. And a few people came out of the closet to say that they also procrastinate. It’s crazy.

Big goals for me include : BEAT THE HELL OUT OF PROCRASTINATION and get my time management skills in order and everything else will fall into place. Daz all!

Syreeta from Not Enough Writers

But I’m not ready for tomorrow

I honestly feel that way. I sometimes wish that life should be on a fixed schedule. That there should be consequences for slacking.

The way it should be planned – if I don’t meet up with my commitments, I will get electrocuted. Shock me so that my head will be correct. Zero procrastination. But life is not like that, and I am thankful for it…lol.

Get up and get to work

Do the work today and let tomorrow answer for itself. Periodt. Tattoo it on my wrist or somewhere where I can see it all the time.

This reminds me of something I wrote a few months ago.

I ache to chase the sun across foreign cities. I feel fevered at the thought of rolling fields and the contrast of azure skies.

If tomorrow refuses to come, I believe I will be devastated.

Rigozo – Lia

Okay! I can be a tad dramatic. Still, I think a lot of us are at this table – “I will do it tomorrow.”

I did not say all of us because there are people out there that have this organizing and time management thing on lockdown. I mean they have systems, journals, planners, all the arsenals in their armory of productivity to put the rest of us – Association of Procrastinators – to shame. Wow! I need a friend or two in this category, please sign up. Or I can become that friend to somebody else, one day, someday.

Endless possibilities you know.

I just found this article 20 INCREDIBLE WOMEN ON WHAT THEY WISH THEY HAD KNOWN AT 20 and this is what Margaret Atwood had to say.

If tomorrow never comes…

Then you’ve missed whatever chance you had to do what you should have done today. And I mean the important stuff.

I don't want to be a prophet of doom, even though I'll look dashing in a black hooded cloak with the air of mystery around me - Eau De Mysterioso. You know, I gotta say that it is possible.

I’m trying to be intentional about the person I am becoming. It’s not easy.

Sometimes I just want to crawl into a hole and hide. I don’t because something stops me. Somebody stops me.

There’s this woman that I see and she’s me. She wears this lovely smile that says without words that she has conquered. And I am so psyched to meet her. I want to rush over and marvel at her beauty, her strength, her poise, but the journey is a long one. Tomorrow seems so close, yet so far away.

So, I’m making patience my bosom friend, and discipline and diligence are also part of the gang. Journaling helps me keep track of my thoughts. Together with faith and my humble self, we are all going on this trip.

Doing all I can today so that one day, tomorrow, I get to meet the woman with the lovely smile, who is me.

Therefore, I pray for tomorrow to come. And I hope you’ll say the prayer with me.

Have a good day and I would love to see your comments. Bye✌️🏾

The Hype About Self Reflection and Why It Is Important


Disclaimer: Self reflection is a good thing and necessary to elevate our lives, it can also be challenging and requires discipline.

I know it’s hard to find out something different from the visual and mental representation that we already have of ourselves. From my experience, once you embark on self-reflection, you either feel like a million bucks or like roadkill. You know how it is with having a crush, you get to know them and eventually you get crushed because they don’t look so iconic to you anymore. Yeah, that’s how getting to know yourself better can feel, however, it’s not always the case.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”


What Is Self Reflection

Self reflection is one of the ways in which we can learn certain things about ourselves that would help us change and improve our lives. When we self reflect, we take off the blinders and this allows us to see ourselves for who we truly are. When we are honest with ourselves, we are able to process our thoughts, learn from past mistakes and successes, and it gives us a fighting chance as we tackle the future. Another thing is that we are able to acknowledge our feelings instead of hiding behind them and this is a great way to progress.

Is Self Reflection Good Or Bad?

Self reflection can go both ways like I said earlier. When done in a constructive manner it brings about positive changes but if haphazardly done and focused only the negative aspects, it could cause a person to spiral down.

The brain is a survival mechanism constantly alert to our needs. Simi Rayat mentioned that if the brain receives signal that we feel threatened or out of our comfort zone, it is possible for our mind to deploy hacks and shortcuts to manage such situations. This will cause the brain to tell us lies that can mess with our decisions, thinking and interpretations.

Note: It is also important to try to understand where other people’s opinion of you are coming from in other to shield against the ones that have no benefits to you.

Why Self Reflect?

#For Growth and Understanding

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First by reflection, which is the noblest; second by imitation, which is the easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”


Nobody that I know of has cracked the code 100% on how to elevate the way they see themselves, but a lot of positive changes can come through self reflection. This can go a long way to help you get clarity and find your purpose. It also inspires growth and a better understanding of who you are as a person. Always remember it is important that you don’t lose sight of who you are.

#Gets Rid of Insecurities

“Don’t become too preoccupied with what is happening around you, pay more attention to what is going on within you.”

Mary-Francis Winters

Perhaps you are in a low place and struggling with general anxiety, one of the best thing you can do for yourself is to self reflect. To fix a problem, it is important that you have to first know where it’s coming from and tackle it at the source unless it will persist.

#Improves Your Relationships

“Before I ask you to sit with me,

I must be able to sit with myself,

Before I ask you to accept my pain,

I have to accept the pain myself,

Before I ask you to love me,

I have to be madly in love with myself.”


Many times we are the problem in our relationships and we are not aware of it, because how we see ourselves can be skewed and misinterpreted. We are only able to take the necessary steps towards self improvement when we become aware of our faults and flaws. Self reflection leads to self awareness, which leads to better relationships with our families, friends and colleagues.

#Promotes Self Acceptance

“Time spent in self reflection is never wasted, it is an intimate date with yourself.”

Paul TP Wong

When we are able to process our emotions and thoughts, we feel a greater connection to ourselves. It opens up our mind to several possibilities to explore those ideas that we have and channel them in a positive way. For example there are times I would repeat to myself, “I’m beautiful; I’m important; I’m not pathetic,” and so on. This happens a lot when I have intrusive thoughts that target my self confidence – pretty nasty stuff – and the only way for me is to channel positive energy to tackle them. I’m aware it makes all the difference to my physical and my mental health.

Start Reflecting

Ask yourself questions, especially the hard ones – you know those ones that makes you cringe or causes your chest to tighten . Be sure to reflect on your experiences; introspection is important and can help you track the things that you did, felt and thought at certain moments. You are going through your memories like a movie reel without editing parts of it. Don’t forget to take it easy on yourself, things that are not going right can be fixed with discipline and TLC (Tender, Love and Care).

I’m off to go do some self reflection (mehn things are about to get bloody up in here), wish me all the best.

Photo Credit: Rigozo

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On The Art of Living


I’m very particular about living (well) and I have been aware of it for a very long time and would like to say a few things. There’s no denying that ‘life is wonderful’, I believe it is why most people at their last moments, would have given anything to keep their hearts beating. I think it ironic that we that are alive spend most of the time bemoaning our existence.

Granted life gives us doses of wins and losses, and there’s so much going on around the world that could test even the patience of a saint.

I like how Stephen King puts it matter of fact, “Get busy living or get busy dying.” Well, those are the options and that’s all there is to it.

Time is precious
No time like the present

We Are Alive

Everybody that is alive do five things in common; breathe, eat, sleep, piss, and sh*t. Even babies get with the program as soon as they arrive on the third planet from the sun (I don’t know anybody who doesn’t, and if you do, please feel free to mention the person). Many would argue that we are one and the same, while others will stand on our individuality and uniqueness; potato – potato.

Whatever the case may be, you inhabit this earth and there’s only one permanent way out (into the unknown). But while you are here, you play your part in the grand scheme of things (this here is shrouded in mystery) no matter how miserably or awesomely you are getting along.

When you are fed up of adulting.

How many times do we tell ourselves that we can handle this? It’s the way we deal with things that upset us. It’s the reason why whoever you are, wherever you find yourself or whatever you do; you spent your formative years immersed in learning the acceptable way to live. Moreover, you are besieged with family, friends, school, work, government and many more. You just have to learn to deal with it because as you grow older, it is expected of you to take the reins of your life and make decisions on how you want to live it .

Side Bar:

There’re all forms of pleasure available and only a few compete with the joy of eating good food. When cake melts in your mouth, you experience paradise and all lovers of plantain can testify that nothing can compare. Eat good food because your health is important, enjoy it because you have to be a sadist not to. That’s one way to liven up your living.

Living usually takes different turns at different stages of your life and you are confronted with fresh-faced issues. Mostly there are periods of triumph and periods that are tumultuous. And it continues in this manner until you breathe your last. No matter how much we try, there are days when we cannot deny that we are not okay. Good news is it’s normal.

To talk about how hard living can be. I'm not Okay.

Making The Most Of Living

Love yourself; You Matter: Put your hands up if you know that you’re a spec and need no validation from other people (both of my hands are in the air). I think it goes beyond knowing it, and it depends more on living your life and taking actions that shows how much you value yourself. I say this because when people say they are living their best life, I assume that there can be such a thing as living your worst life. So get into your Zen, be aware of who you are and cash out on appreciating yourself.

Stay Away From People

Build a strong barrier around yourself to keep the wrong people out. The reason why is so that you do not lose your sanity. Yes, stay away or your mental/physical/spiritual health can be threatened. If you realize that the wrong people still inhabit your space, it could be because your barrier is made from bubble wrap, and well you get the idea…you are like a kid’s favorite play toy. They’ll definitely chew you up and spit you out as a complete mess. Keep the right people around you…you’ve heard this before, maybe it’s time to find them and keep them. The wrong people who don’t do anything for you, send packing.

Use Available Resources

This is what I see a lot of us struggle with because human needs are insatiable and there’s always something more. It takes a lot of self discipline to work with available resources and to get things done. Khalil Gibran writes, “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” Reframing you’re mindset plays a huge part in fixing your life, or you’ll truly live in sobriety. Not everything is within your reach but take advantage of what is and that would be your stepping stone.

…when people say they are living their best life, I assume that there can be such a thing as living your worst life.

Stop Procrastinating

There are several times when I fail to get things done because I procrastinate. I got this drilled into my head. When I say “I’ll try to do this,” I get the response, “Don’t try, just do it.” Do it? A lot of times the only thing I want to do is nothing. In real life though, you can’t always wait for life to happen, it is advisable to go out and grab what you want by the balls. No offense meant. Charles Linbergh proposes that while living in dreams of yesterday, we find ourselves still dreaming of impossible future conquests. In other words, live your life now.

Just Do It!❤️