There was so much drama at work and in my life, and the stress was taking a toll on me. It was lunch hour and I couldn’t wait for the day to be over.
I was at my favorite lunch café – away from the office – but was still working on a report for my boss.
Suddenly, there was a commotion, and I looked up from my work to see what was causing the disturbance.
And that’s how the pen I was holding slipped from my fingers, and my jaw hit the floor. What…!
I couldn’t take my eyes off of the hot specimen of a man – fine bobo – who had just walked into the café. No wonder the place was buzzing. Chai! It should be illegal for him to be out in public.
‘Na wa o! God dey create.’ I said reverently.
Every woman, myself included – and some of the men – watched the fine bobo as he made his way to an empty table at the far end of the café. I felt goosebumps all over my body.
If a riot broke out, I wouldn’t be surprised. The bobo looked like he was the lead male role in a romance novel – like the Duke in Bridgerton series, and it was affecting me somehow-somehow.
I felt my womb clench and turned my face away from him before I did something stupid.
I shook my head to clear the fog that had covered my senses and tried to focus on the report.
‘I will not lose my job today because of one fine bobo,’ I declared.
Unfortunately for me, my inner vixen was already awake and had other plans.
She had been docile only moments ago, but now she purred like the engine of a brand new Telsa. Her mood was clearly ‘single and ready to mingle‘ because her ‘hot man’ alert was going off like a banshee.
‘No o! Stopeeet! I’m not ready to mingle.’ I told her, biting the end of my pen as I tried harder to focus on the report.
She ignored me and brought out ‘the ideal man list’ like she was about to go shopping…
- Must be tall but not too tall
- Must be handsome
- Must have fine melanin skin
- Must have well-defined muscles but not too big
- Must have beards
- Must not be bald
- Must dress well (suit and tie ranks as premium husband material)
- Must have a good car
- Must have his own apartment or house
- Must be well educated
- Must be financially stable
- Must not be a first-born or last-born
- Must not be stingy
- Must be God-fearing but not too spiri-koko
- Must have a sense of humor
- Must not be a mama’s boy (a plus if the mother has gone to meet the lord)
- Must not be a player
- Must not be obsessed with football…
‘Go away, you psycho, and let me concentrate biko.’
‘I’m not going anywhere!’ She was already checking the fine bobo out.
I had to stop myself from checking him out too. No need to encourage her.
‘Just look…look at that human-sized chocolate ice cream, and tell me that all you want to do right now is work.’ She hissed at me.
‘Yes, I want to work. I want to work in peace.’ I insisted.
‘Fine. You can work him; you have my blessing,’ she said.
‘Seriously…what is your problem? Please just go away already! I beg you.’
‘Beg me? YOU SHOULD BEG HIM. YOU NEED A MAN. Do you want to die single?’
‘With that outrageous list of yours, it’s bound to happen.’
‘Tueh! I reject it. There’s nothing wrong with having aspirations.’
‘Are you also aspiring to get me fired?’ I asked because it seemed that way. My lunch break would soon be over and I had made little progress on the report.
‘You can try to change my single status another time. For now, leave me alone, and mind your business.’
She agreed wholeheartedly and said, ‘After all, you are my business. Just trust that I always have your best interest at heart.‘
‘Nope…I don’t trust you. Now shoo!’
It was hard but I managed to shut her out and focused on the report. Fine bobo or no fine bobo, I had enough drama already.
2 thoughts on “Day 13 – Single”
This was a hilarious read. Thank you for this piece.
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Thank you, Homer. Glad you liked it.